Monday, December 24, 2012

ON CHRISTMAS EVE


I've always wondered what bachelors did on Christmas. If you don't have a family of your own, and your parents live far away, what do you do on...that night...Christmas Eve?

I guess you hang out with other bachelors, but what if there are no other bachelors? There's bound to be Christmas Eves where your bachelor friends are all inaccessible.



I'm about to find out because at the last minute my kids were prevented from visiting, and my wife is out of town. I've never, not even once, had to deal with something like this. In a whole lifetime it'll be my first Christmas alone. I'll have to be here by myself....just me...tossing playing cards into a hat.


But don't feel sorry for me. To tell you the truth, I'm thrilled to be going through this. The writer in me tells me that experiences like this are golden. The sting of loneliness is more than made up for by the treasure trove of lonely bachelor ideas I'll probably get.



The problem is that good friends heard about my problem and called to invite me to share their family Christmases. That's wonderful...I'm lucky to have friends like that...but they don't realize that this is my time to be exiled in the desert, my time to suffer. They say you'll never be a first-rate artist until you've suffered. How do I explain to my friends that I can't agonize over the sting of rejection while they're being nice to me?


I'll have to figure out what to do about this, but in the meantime I'm going to the mall to see if I can get some pictures of angry shoppers.

UPDATE: I just returned home from a night of partying. There goes my resolve to suffer. Thanks to friends I'm doomed to be a shallow man, someone who's never been purified by the chastening fires of rejection.


6 comments:

Joshua Marchant (Scrawnycartoons) said...

Face it Eddie, you've got too many friends to be alone on Christmas! You'll only ever spend Christmas Eve alone if you reject them!

It's Christmas morning over here in NZ, good tidings from our little hemisphere! I got a great haul of gifts this year too: http://bit.ly/12BfJH3
But don't let my cheer bring you up, you'll need icy solitude if you want to become the next Edgar Allan Poe

Robert Schaad said...

I go through this often, Eddie. I usually watch the requisite holiday classics and have some wine, and reflect on everything. Like maybe there's someone in an awful relationship, wishing they didn't have to hang out with in-laws or an angry spouse (and then I don't feel so bad). Happy Holidays!!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Joshua: Haw! A nice haul indeed! Merry Christmas!

Robert: Yikes! Well, I have an idea that might help. Think of someone you know who has at least some redeeming qualities but who's a bit of a jerk and doesn't like you. Let's say this person has the same problem you have at Christmas.

Invite the person to dinner at your expense. Say something like: "Let's have a truce for a couple of hours on Christmas Eve. We'll have a good meal then go back to hating or ignoring each other afterward. Whaddaya say?"

I admit that this is probably a terrible and unworkable idea, but it's the kind of thing that works in movies and it would be interesting to see if it works in the real world.

Robert Schaad said...

By Jove, Eddie, you might be onto something. Cheers!!!

Unknown said...

I was pretty much alone in my room listening to internet radio and listening to one of the most important monologues I have ever heard, which motivated me to still have a decent Christmas despite all the horrible things that have happened like having to move out of my house to an apartment, my family still being on welfare, etc. Merry Christmas, Eddie!

Anonymous said...

I dunno, I'm on my own a lot of the time. I can go a week or two without having a conversation, and it's been that way for two or three years.

A Christmas alone doesn't seen like that big a deal.