Friday, January 07, 2011

THE PRINCESS & THE GIANT (REVISED) (PART I)

EXT. PRINCESS CASTLE:

PRINCESS (V.O.):  "Why can't all men be like giants?"

PRINCESS: "Giants are gentle and nice...not stuck up like that stupid Count Frisbee. I wouldn't go out with him again if he were the last man on Earth!


PRINCESS: "He thinks he's God's Gift to Women...and you know that he's probably always thinking about doing the nasty!"


PRINCESS: "Hey, I'm a Princess! I could have his fingers pulled off! Ha, ha, just kidding!"


PRINCESS: "Giants are so docile and friendly. Why can't all men be like giants?"


PRINCESS: "Hey, I have an idea! Let's take a walk! We'll be gone when Frisbee gets here, and when he sees that nobody's home, maybe he'll get the hint that he's not wanted around here!!


PRINCESS: "I'll just change real fast!"


PRINCESS: "Take these shoes, will 'ya?"


PRINCESS: "I don't need Count Conceited, or whatever his name is."



PRINCESS: "What do I need men for, anyway?"


PRINCESS: "Here, take this scarf."


PRINCESS: "Everybody thinks you find happiness by finding one special person that you share your life with, but I don't think that's how it works. Look at all the people who believe in that. They're all still looking, you know?" 


PRINCESS: "Me, I greet life with a smile. I feel the sensation of the morning dew on my skin. I wait for the sun to come up and fill me with love energy! I don't need Mr. Right!" 


PRINCESS (V.O.): "All I need is a friend like you. Someone I can...you know.... share everything with. 


PRINCESS: "It's all about Karmic energy!"


PRINCESS: "Get rid of this will 'ya? Where's my other dress?"


PRINCESS: "I mean, the only time you can ever feel strong and secure is when you're giving it to others instead of wishing they would give it to you!"


PRINCESS: "Give it to others, I say! Give it to others!"


PRINCESS: "I just want to share!"


PRINCESS (V.O.): "That's all I want..."


PRINCESS: "I just desperately want to...SHARE! Um, do you know where my socks are?"


GIANT: (He wordlessly mouths, "Thank you, God! Thank you!")


 ON THE DOOR:

SFX: KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!


*******TO BE CONTINUED*******

15 comments:

Allen said...

Wow...uh Eddie are you trying to go for the "creepy guy that gets horny for his Barbies?" Cause thats the vibe I'm feeling here.

Steven M. said...

This giant is lovin' the good life.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Allen: Busted! I got this Barbie for $1 from a thrift store. I bought it so that I could do the original version of this story.

Allen said...

Oh ok Eddie if that is the tone you're trying to set. While reading it I was just wondering why you used a Barbie instead of using pictures of real women and your great photoshop skills. The doll really pulled me out of the story for a minute there. Plus those removable Barbie panties are the most ugly panties I've ever seen!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Allen: Haw! You sound like you've seen a lot of doll panties!

Allen said...

Of course I did. I shared a room with a little sister for 12 years. The nature of the universe makes sure that barbie dolls always end up naked and thrown around the house.

Also I feel embarrassed for highjacking the comments section here today. Sorry bout that. It's just a little fun to argue about barbie-underwear with someone I idolize.

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

Okay Uncle Eddie, you could be stretching things with this one, er, I mean........where's the delete button?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Joel: Hmmm...maybe I got a little too explicit. It's hard to strike the right note when you're doing stuff like this.

I wanted the girl's dialogue to be innocent, but the giant interprets it the wrong way. Maybe the way I've got it makes it seem like she's overtly coming on to him, which isn't something that character would do. Maybe I'll make an adjustment. Thanks for the crit!

The Barker said...

Eddie's Punctured Romance!

Jorge Garrido said...

Nice! Is this revised from an earlier post from a few years back or did you revise it from something you wrote recently?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jorge: Yeah, this is a revised version of something I did back in Jan. of 2008. I wasn't used to doing photo stories in those days and I made the story way too complicated. The simplified version presented here works much better.

Jorge Garrido said...

You're like the Frank Capra of Fumetties!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jorge: Capra!? What a compliment!

Pete Emslie said...

Don't change this, Eddie. It's perfect. It's FUNNY!!

I'm afraid that the poor hapless shlemiel of a Giant is going to get his big old heart broken, though. That and getting an ass-whoopin' from Count Frisbee, the Princess's louse of a boyfriend.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Pete: Thanks much! I made a couple of small changes as a result of what Joel and Allen said, and the changed version is the one you said you liked. I wanted people to feel sorry for the giant, and what you said makes me think that part's working better now.