Friday, November 19, 2010

MY THANKSGIVING DINNER (PART 2)

The family commences to do some serious chowing down.


None of the pies last very long.

UNCLE EDDIE: "Er....Grandma, are you feeling calm now?"

GRANDMA: "Yeah, I love to watch the family eat on Thanksgiving."

UNCLE EDDIE: "Really? You're completely at ease, at one with the universe?"

GRANDMA: "Sure.  Why do you ask?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Well, I was thinking of poor Cousin Lester and his friends out there in the bushes, and....."

GRANDMA (FURIOUS): "YOU MEAN THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE!!!???"

She grabs a bat and runs outside.

Grandma: "Those good-for-nothings! I'll KILL them! I'll MURDERIZE 'em!"


INSIDE: the dog steals Grandma's food.

ALSO INSIDE, AT THE TABLE:

GRANDPA: "Haw! Go get 'em Grandma! ....Geez, I can't talk with these false teeth getting in the way."

He plops the teeth in his drinking glass.

GRANDPA: "I'll just put them in water for awhile."

Everybody stops eating..

GRANDPA: "What's the matter? Why isn't anybody eating? Aren't you hungry?"


EVERYBODY (TURNING GREEN AT THE SIGHT OF THE TEETH): "All of a sudden we're not so hungry."

GRANDMA'S FRIEND TRUDY: "You're hungry, alright! I'm not gonna let that food go to waste!"


PIMPLETINA: "EEEEEEEWW!!!!! There's a piece of vegetable on my meat! I'm not gonna eat this X%$#X stuff!"

PIMPLETINA: (WAILS)


PIMPLETINA'S MOM: "Listen, young lady! You're gonna eat every bit of that, or else!"

PIMPLETINA: "Or else, WHAT!???" 


Pimpletina socks her mom and her mom socks her back.


The room divides into two angry camps and a food fight breaks out.


Beauregard stands up, attempts to make peace.

BEAUREGARD: "Hey, hey, hey! Let's handle this like civilized human beings!"


Howie slaps a pie into Beauregard's face.

HOWIE: "Shut up, Beauregard!"

The food fight intensified into a full-scale riot.

So that's it. I couldn't snap any pictures after that. All in all it was a great Thanksgiving. Boy, I love that holiday!


BTW: This is a work of fiction and none of the pictures belong to me. All are copyrighted by the original photographers or the subsequent buyers.  



12 comments:

Steven M. said...

Man Eddie, you sure know how to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Jorge Garrido said...

Damn, white people, you scary!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Severin: Well, actually I spent last Thanksgiving with friends whose house doesn't resemble this one. I wonder how the trailers in the photo came to be arranged that way?

Anonymous said...

Eddie, you sure know how to make up the funniest stories. This whole thing was a complete farce in a good way. I can certainly imagine this being animated as a Thanksgiving cartoon or something like that.

BlakeJ said...

Great story, Uncle Eddie!

About the picture above the caption "EVERYBODY (TURNING...":
Where did you get that photo? In the middle is Craig Benzine a.k.a. WheezyWaiter (from YouTube)! It looks like a MySpace photo or something!

pappy d said...

Great stuff, Eddie! How will Christmas ever beat that?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Blak: Wheezywaiter!? I just looked up the videos, and it looks like you're right!

Jorge: Yes, we white people are interesting specimens!

Steven, Roberto, Pappy: Thanks!

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

Laugh out loud funny! Oops, I meant lol. Anyway, thanks and Happy Holidays.

Unknown said...

What a fun way to celebrate Thanksgiving!

Paul Penna said...

The trailer pile-on is actually an outdoor set for a production of a Chekhov play by an Amsterdam theater company in 2005. Snopes has info here:

Trailer high-rise

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Joel, Sandra: Thanks!

Paul: Yikes! The trailer park is a theater set? I'm amazed that the designers went to so much trouble! Thanks for the link!

Taber said...

Hahaha! I love thanksgiving!