Sunday, August 10, 2008

CARTOONISTS AS MARTIAL ARTS SUPERSTARS


The other night I saw the latest Ultimate Fighting bout at John's place, and it was beyond great! The graphics and sound were the best I'd seen in any sports event, ever. The announcers whipped the audience into a frenzy, searchlights scanned the fans going wild in the dark, the titles were written in fire and slid in with F-14 sound effects, the biographies perfectly set up the human dimension, and the girls who held up the information cards were knock-outs...all in all, a perfect presentation! Oh yes, the fights themselves were terrific! What a night!

On the way home I found myself wishing that animation could be presented like that. Why can't we generate that kind of excitement? I mean the "Iron Man" show does it with cooks, why can't we do it with artists?



I can envision a TV show with two competing 2-D animators emerging one at a time through corridors in the crowd. Each is surrounded with three surly assistant animators who protect their animator captain from the fans. In the ring the two artists are brought together, nose to nose, facing each other down. Both may have glasses and weigh 98 lbs, but they're all hyped up on adrenalin and it looks like they'd like to kill each other. The announcer gives us the specs on each, tells us how it's a grudge match. Filmed biographies show them each confidently predicting the demise of the other.



The announcers whip the audience into a frenzy then the animators are separated and, along with their assistant animators, are led to desks at opposite ends of the platform. Each desk has a video camera over the desk and a foot pedal to click off frames. A hush falls over the audience as a beautiful girl in a thong bikini reaches into a bowl and chooses a story line. Both animators will do a 20 second film, which must use the story chosen by the girl. Both will do the same story!



The story is announced! Maybe it's something like: "A guy and a girl attempt to kiss, but their noses get in the way." The clock is started. The captains take a minute to brainstorm  with their crew. When they're ready the animator quickly does the rough character designs and starts working so he can hand out to the assistants. No time to color, no time to redo: it'll be a pencil test done with heavy, black pencil!




The audience cheers for their favorite. An overhead video screen shows the artists' progress. More biographical clips and commentary fill up the slow spots. Not making the deadline is unthinkable. The question is, how good will it be? How funny will it be? It's gotta be funny! The artists work at a furious pace. The audience cheers their favorite and attempts to harass and distract the other!



Finally the films are finished and fast, crude, home-made SFX and canned music are quickly layered in. The film is run for the audience and the judges, and the winner chosen. The panting, sweating winner is awarded a gold belt and the opportunity to date one of the card girls. The loser drags his sorry butt out of the arena, humiliated and forever marked as a beaten man.

Girls: Is there a girl version of this?




32 comments:

Bitter Animator said...

I don't know, Mr.F. The thing about animators is that we're not cool. Not even slightly. And it's unlikely we ever will be. It goes with the territory - we spend most of the day glued to a desk, or watching cartoons. Many of us have little to no social skills because we spent most of our childhood with a pencil and paper.

But then that Robot Wars thing was full of total geeks and that worked kind of like your UFC. Though they did have spiky metal robots, whereas we have... pencils... or graphics tablets.

I would love to see your dream become a reality but I just don't see it working.

But, you know, your cooking example isn't far off. Perhaps we need to change how we work and, instead of sitting at desks and being all nice to each other (we are a rather pleasant bunch, after all), we can animate standing up and shout and swear a lot, like Gordon Ramsay, who clearly overcompensates for the fact that cooking is not as manly as, say, being a wrestler or something.

Maybe we should start getting angry and swearing a lot and see how that works out before jumping into the whole television show thing?

Anonymous said...

It would work, but you'd have to bring in an audience with a higher collective I.Q. to do the film judging. Or you could just get two executives to crap all over each other in the ring and call it a draw.

diego cumplido said...

It seems great!! ... just one question ...

did you think in any cartoonist? who against who?

Whit said...

Artists are not stage performers. Trying to make them into that is a shotgun marriage, unless the artist has that type of personality to begin with.

Austin Papageorge said...

I can see it now... Jim Gomez up against Charlie Bean, Mike Fontanelli up against Chris Reccardi, or heck, you against John K. You can get carried away with this stuff.

Barbasaurus Rex said...

Eddie your insights always amaze me, what a great idea!
That would be awesome!!! You should seriously start it on your blog and throw down the challenge to some unsuspecting animator. A modern day duel of animation wits! What mad pursuits!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Oppo: Haw! In a competition of this sort John would be like Fedor, if you know who that is. Fedor's probably the best fighter in the world and even heavy weight champions are afraid to get in the ring with him.

Maybe if John had bees in his pants...

Freckled: Interesting thought! Maybe me and Brad Byrd. I respect and admire Brad but we have very different approaches to animation. He probably wouldn't lose any sleep over the match but I'd have to prepare myself like Rocky...go to Philadelphia, acquire an old, toothless trainer and all that.

Anonymous said...

Interesting idea, but boxing is SOOOOOO much better than UFC...and they both have similar presenation.

My father tried to get me to watch the UFC fight the other day. Luckily, the satellite was out.

Eddie vs. Brad Bird, that's an interesting bout...

Austin Papageorge said...

Also, Imagine Kali vs. Lynne Naylor.

Ryan G. said...

UFC is the best thing to happen to the sports world in the past 10 years!

I was reading that Dana White and the Fertitta brothers(Owners of the UFC) were sitting at an event in the late nineties saying, "what if we made the entrances more exciting, with lights and music, etc.." A few years later they bought the UFC and it slowly grew into what it is today. The fact is, they are still investing in the sport and growing it. Sadly boxing fucked up and greedy promoters stuffed all the money they could into their pockets, fixed fights, and forgot about keeping the sport alive and look at the state of it.

Compared to UFC, the action in boxing is comparable to watching grass grow.

I think its a great idea to have competative artists go at it.

There is a competition called Cut and Paste that lets artists compete with a wacom and some software..
http://www.cutandpaste.com/events/

pappy d said...

Cool concept!

Maybe pro wrestling would be a better model. UFC is practically a sport, with rules & all. Some of those guys are almost sportsmanlike.

You would kick Brad's ass in the ringside interviews, for sure. We need some storyline about why you guys really hate each other on a personal level. Executive judges would be ideal. Nothing whips up the fans like outrageously biased or arbitrary decisions & we can raise ticket prices for the rematch.

Kirk Nachman said...

Get all you cretins together in one warehouse, just like shootin' ducks in a barrel. Industry come apart like a rotten undervest. My dear, dear martyrs, animation may then have a new dawn!!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Rudy: I think you're taking this way too seriously. I don't have anything against Brad Byrd in a personal way, and I wish him continued success. This is just a fantasy designed to stimulate thought.

Kirk Nachman said...

Hey Ed, I'm just kidding, and perhaps in poor taste. I'm not, however, vigilant for Brad Byrd, who I really only remember as a teen with his Family Dog short... then of course he did the robot flick and is now a Pixar heavy... I'm amused to discover you players of contemporary animation through blogo-rama, and your debates and disputes, but out of all of 'em, I'd go for you, Eddie baby, and mebbie Vinny, 'cuase he's mellow, and reminds me of my brother. God bless us, everyone!

Kirk Nachman said...

What I'm tryin' to say, Ed, is I'm not in the field. I'm an artist and enthusiast. I'm just playing along. And I appreciate the responses to both my worthwhile contributions to the conversation, and then those which are not worthwhile. My apologies for all appearences.

Anonymous said...

Jeez Eddie--anyone can tell that that guy Rudy is being satirical. Look who's taking it all too seriously! LOL

That said--you guys have got to watch something other than this wrassling & cage fighting. Jesus.

Bitter Animator said...

On the subject if UFC (vaguely), I saw a banner ad for The Scorpion King 2 starring some UFC guy in the place of the always awesome Mr. The Rock.

Who knew there was a Scorpion King 2? It couldn't possibly live up to the original, which could only have been improved had Kelly Hu worn her hair short.

Bob said...

Say anonymous, normally when I see comments like yours on other people's blogs I tend to ignore them because I find them lame and obnoxious. However today I'm fed up with rude comments and want to clarify that they are really annoying to read.

If you or anyone else who writes mean comments on other people's blogs could at least own up to what you write by having an actual account, than, perhaps, I would feel that you may have some merit for what you are stating. As of now, I only think of you as a jerk and a coward for writting that comment on Eddie's blog.

Kirk Nachman said...

Bob, what'd he say? You sure yer not pissed at me?

Kirk Nachman said...

I feel it's important to say that posts should be answerable to themselves alone. People may feel the ability to be more candid without putting out their name, and good candor makes for a better conversation. Needing a little background on someone posting sounds a little like premeditated retribution, (you wanna know my favorite color? You want the VIN # on my truck? Home address?) Like maybe looking to blackball some loose cannon? Send hate mail, hit 'em where they breath? Obnoxious posts are embarrassing in themselves, and the Blog owner always plays editor. I admire Eddie, and John K. (whose comments usually read like a 24 hour hand-job), for having an open enough policy and the strength of character to allow the unpleasantries which are bound to follow free-form bullshit sessions like this.

Trevor Thompson said...

I think John Lassetter would be Joe Rogan, because he doesn't fight, he just comments.

- trevor.

cwyatt said...

I think you just like to put the bikini clad women on your blog Eddie.

How about the animators(dressed in drag, or speedos with high heels) come up with the most unusual gags. The panel of judges: bikers, lawyers, hookers, and Olympic athletes, decide the fate of the animator. That fate is one of the gags that the animator come up with.

Just an idea...

J. J. Hunsecker said...

Hey Eddie,

Brad's last name is spelled "Bird" like the animal, not "Byrd" like the Rear Admiral who explored Antarctica.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hunsecker: AAARGH! Brad must be the only man in the modern world who spells his name in a traditional way, as the Good Lord intended. I've seen so many quirky spellings of names that I just assume the spelling will be skewered without asking.

Cwyatt: Not bad! Not bad!

Trevor: Nobody expects the head of a studio to be a working animator. You're gonna get me in trouble.

Trevor Thompson said...

Sorry, Eddie.

That was me reacting more to a friend of mine than anyone else.

When we argue about 3D vs. 2D, he always brings up his hero, Lassetter, and I my own, John K. And I said to him last, "If you're in the animation business and you can't draw, then you're not as necessary as those who can."

If he wants to be the new Walt ( and there's evidence to back that theory up ), then he should do what Walt did and put the most faith in his men that drew the best.

Anyway, that's our argument, and it's not really suitable for Theory Corner consumption, you're right. Besides, JL is very powerful, knows Steve Jobs, and could probably have both of us killed.

- trevor.

Anonymous said...

JL couldn't even get Sharon Morrill killed, and she richly deserved it.

pappy d said...

For what it's worth, when Lasseter took over animation at Disney, he started one his first staff meetings by dismissing the people who couldn't draw.

Anonymous said...

Trevor-rule one of internet info: Don't believe everything you read.

Whatever "evidence" you have heard (and I can understand where you're coming from, but take all evidence with a grain of salt-or on the internet with a dump truck full) Lasseter doesn't want to "the new Walt" any more than you do or Eddie does-that's an unnecessary mantle to hang on anyone. He is being what he can't help being-the one & only JL. He's been given a dream position at Disney that is an awful lot of extra work but if anyone is a good match to respect and build upon the Disney legacy it's he.
He truly loves and reveres the best of the best of Disney. There's no debate about that.

As for his animator/drawing provenance, he was also a working animator who won a student academy award for his traditionally 2D animated film back when he was an unknown student.

Where do you get the idea that he can't draw? He has way more drawing experience than Walt did, if you want to go there. As for drawing now, it's difficult to build a company from the ground up of any size with any scope and continue to draw, much less animate(well, Miyazaki does it, but he's an anomaly)!
A good boss hires the best people he can get to do their own special things for him. JL does it, and so does JK. As for "putting his most faith in men that drew the best", where have you heard that JL hasn't done exactly that? Have you looked at the work of the story and other artists at Pixar? Or Disney?

Don't jump to assumptions about supposedly warring camps of artists. There are people at Pixar who've worked with John K and people up there who love his stuff. There's room for all kinds of films and styles of entertainment and no reason why the existence of one approach precludes another. Amid Amidi, whose Spumco credentials are indisputable, is writing a book about Pixar. If he's okay with it so should all hardcore Kricfalusi fans be.

Finally, please take all this lecturing in the spirit it was meant: friendly-like. : )

Trevor Thompson said...

I don't know, Falco.

I love Amid, but I don't see the logic in the idea that if one Spumco fan/artist likes Pixar so should the rest of us, and I'm not going to site examples as to why that's kinda silly.

But no one's denying that Walt couldn't draw. It's a well-known fact that he had to be taught how to draw Mickey at a 3/4 angle for appearances.

In fact, why don't you mosey on over to my blog and watch this documentary I posted about Walt Disney....The Secret Life.

As for JL, he's your cup of tea, not mine, and as I said before, this is an argument I'm having with one friend in person; I don't have the stomach to have it here too.... any more than Eddie wants to read it.

Quite frankly, I'm just biding my time until the Peter Pan post is finished. Can't wait!

- trevor.

Ian Merch! said...

I fully support Eddie Fitzgerald as the new Czar of Animation.

Anonymous said...

John Lasseter DOES draw, he animated this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvIDRoO8KnM

Milton Gray said...

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned Ralph Bakshi yet! There's a swaggering, cussing macho animator who is absolutely fearless!