Friday, October 13, 2006

EXAMINING TEETH

Every set of teeth I've ever paid attention to seems to have a story to tell. Take the teeth on top. At first glance they seem normal enough but look a little closer. First of all there's a slight overbite but maybe that's normal so we'll let it slide. Then there's the two perfect front teeth. That's unusual all by itself because you rarely find absolutely perfect front teeth. All the stranger then that the chisel tooth next to them seems to be lonely and is inclined to hug the perfect bucks. The fang is shamefully wimpy. It's an accountant's fang, not a vampire's. You could argue that all the remaining teeth on the top are wimpy fangs. Nature has equipped this man to savagely rip into tuna fish sandwiches and Cup O' Noodles.

The teeth on the bottom row are OK except the snooty teeth in the back seem to have elevated themselves above their friends.
The teeth above are all over the place. Some face outwards, some inwards. The chisel teeth aren't even on the same level but seem to be an incline. It's hard to imagine why nature would produce teeth like this. I suppose this man is specialized to eat the tapered end of corn. The two front teeth curve down and inward like spider teeth. The noble bottom teeth join together to resist the goofy onslaught from above. If I had to guess this man's occupation I'd say...mmmm...professional corn-husker adept at picking out weevils with his teeth.

Aaaagghh!!!! Blogger's dropped the rest of my teeth pictures! I guess I'm only allowed two photos tonight! I'll pick this up again later.

11 comments:

Kali Fontecchio said...

Is this an attack?

Randi Gordon said...

This post is hilarious. It also makes my teeth feel superior to others. More, please!

Anonymous said...

There's also some serious infection going on below the gums in that top photo. Is there a dentist in the house?

Anonymous said...

Damned web bot is back! I swear it's not me.

Stephen Worth said...

Don't stop with teeth, Eddie! Do posts on every little part of the body... the webbing between toes, belly buttons, perineums, etc.

See ya
Steve

Max Ward said...

Those teeth would scare children.

Eddie, I post more of your artwork, share it more often. I just saw some "Hypergrind" artwork on Wil Branca's blog and it inspired me more than you can imagine. Please post alot of your artwork!

Mitchel Kennedy said...

I love my teeth. I take really good care of my teeth. I have one filling, and it's very disheartening to remeber that it's there. My teeth certainly have stories!

Mitchel Kennedy said...

PS:
I want to learn about storyboard timing... could you email me, Eddie? mitch.kennedy [at] gmail.com

Thanks! =)

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Mitch: I started to write an answer to this but after two paragraphs I found that I'd only just begun. This is too big a subject to go into here. There's a whole book on animation timing. Look it up on Amazon.

Anonymous said...

Man, this is what I love about your blog, Uncle Eddie...it sho' nuff has a lot of BITE!!

BAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

(...uh...sorry about that...)

Alex Whitington & Rob Turner said...

My teeth have been rendered even and boring by breakthroughs in orthodon..tist...try...