Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Culture Corner (wipe your feet before coming in)


Greetingth Poetry Loverth!!!!

Here's my best poem. I wrote it in a pastry restaurant surrounded by old ladies.


The Pastry Restaurant Poet

by Eddie Fitzgerald



Here I am in a pastry restaurant,

Crying and all alone.

Nobody loves me,

I am like a thrown-out bone.



Mediterranean faces smile across from me,

But is the glee I see,

Pho-o-ney?



I don't know,

I'm just a poet,

Nursing my cup of tea,

Writing and getting a ...

(a waitress puts a lit candle on my table)

...candle!?

Can it really be?



An ounce of human warmth!

Oh, my heart does sing!

Go now my secret friend!

I'll not forget this thing!



System of putrid relationships,

Your time is drawing nigh!

for the sake of love, sweet love,

In your face we'll throw the pie!

...............!

42 comments:

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Dear Uncle Eddie,

I'm still in shock! That poem has changed my life! I mean there you were...you could have accepted the candle or rejected it,but you did neither, choosing instead to affirm it as a thing in itself!

And how ironic that the restaurant was full of laughter! HA! The joke is on us, the listners, because we were fooled by the nougatory nature of the candle! A brilliant dichotomy!

Oh, thank-you, thank-you Uncle Eddie!

-Whelpy Wishington

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Dear Whelpy,

Thank you, Whelpy. I won't confirm or deny your interpretation. That would be the height of futility given the impending heat death of the universe! By the way, are you female?

-Uncle Eddie

Sam L. said...

hehe

Unknown said...

Oh man, this was definitely worth the wait! I thought we might get some pics but I never expected poetry. I have to tell you, I`m loving this blog already!

David Germain said...

Judging by the hidden symbolism of this sonnet, you're either in love with your mother or you still wet the bed. (Or maybe you're in love with your bed and still wet your mother.)

Or did I read it wrong? ;)

Gyrobo said...

I live for double spacing.

Anonymous said...

nice poem

Jenny Lerew said...

Hi Eddie~funny, I just found a real, very cool old snapshot I bought on ebay ages ago of Kovacs dressed up as Percy, sitting on the soundstage--I'll post it on my blog, go look(later).

Okay: so...you thought....my blog...was named after..
...um, a dungeons & dragons game? A fantasy novel? The frigging Beastmaster film(s)??? I have to say, that's a terrible shock for a Thurs. morning.
I thought you knew me, man. I don't read fantasy, swords, sorcery, uh-uh, nope, no way. Apart from an admiration for Harryhausen's work, it's hardly my thing.
I stick to Gaskell, Dickens and Betty MacDonald--and a hell of a lot of non-fiction. I'm also enjoying a compilation of a woman's letters who was the personal secretary for Sam Goldwyn(nee Goldfish) in the 1920s. That's my beat. ; )

Welp! Please go here and read this when you get the chance: http://blackwingdiaries.blogspot.com/2005/11/why-my-blog-is-titled-as-it-is.html#links
I wrote that back in Nov. when I started the blog. I actually managed to weave references to Kovacs AND Clampett into one simple paen to my eponymous pencil, Blackwings. Haven't YOU ever seen one? I would swear they'd be your pencil of choice, back when they were available. Maybe you should get into that scavenger hunt--believe me, they're worth it.
Cheers!
-Jenny

Anonymous said...

Ernie Kovacs once drove his overtaxed propman to quit when he told him at the end of a season "Next year, think about square bubbles!" (This was the early 60's and such things weren't easily done on a tight budget in video monochrome) Kovacs was an utter genius and, had he been born a little person, he'd have been the best president this country ever had!

Tom Minton

Anonymous said...

Holly Crap! Eddie has a blog! nice to see your stuff again Eddie. It's been quite a while since we were cracking each other up with story ideas for Animaniacs. I do miss those days of you sitting on the floor of my cublice as we tossed gags at each other.
glad to see you online here!

Stephen Worth said...

Eddie! You are SO suave! I love how you ask the most important question last, as if it was nothing... Man! You are friggin' SUAVE!

Your unwavering follower
Steve

P.S. NUDDER CLICK

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hi Jenny! What a relief! I should have known that you weren't a Beastmaster fan! I tried to picture you with "I Brake for Elves" on the back of your car and a house full of glass unicorns but the image wouldn't stick.

I do like Blackwing pencils a lot but Alas!, I discovered an even better (for me) pencil: the magesterial Tombow 6B! The lead is soft and velvety and yet is strong enough to resist breaking in the sharpener. I do characters with the Tombow and backgrounds with an ordinary Office Depot #2. I get a sadistic pleasure out of forcing the aristocratic, little-finger-in-the-air Tombow to associate with the proletarian, wipe-your-mouth-with-the-tablecloth #2.

I like the fact that you posted 2 or 3 pictures of your Blackwings on your site. You show them off like a parent shows off baby pictures. It's funny how artists bond with their materials.

Jennifer said...

Oh, Uncle Eddie, that poem was a riot! I'm still laughing out loud over it. I can't wait to see more of your sketches and your poetry.

BTW, nice touch on the accompanying pic.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hi Tom! "Had he been born a little person..." How do you think of ideas like that!? You could have had a great second career in stand-up! You'd have had groupies, dangerous drugs, Opah Winfrey spots...and when the time came you could have renounced comedy as passe and played dramatic roles like Batman. In another, parallel universe there's a you who's doing all this right now.

Kovacs certainly was a genius. Gee, I miss that show. I didn't even buy all the tapes when they came out. I only have two. Jenny, if you're reading this, hurry up and post that Kovacs picture!

-Eddie

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hi Rusty! Wow! A blast from the past! Yes I do remember all those sessions on your cubicle floor. Thanks for all the great gags! Hmmm,...I think that's worth posting about.

-Eddie

BrandonPierce said...

Poetry! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, Eddie, I'm going off-topic here, but I hafta ask this. I know you were involved in the 80s series Heathcliff and the Catillac Cats (John K. was a character designer there), and you did storyboards there. Can you let us in on some background information on that show? maybe some stories? Also were you and John really involved on the Catillac Cats episode "Lucky's Unlucky Day". I asj this, because that episode has a weird Bob Clampett feel to it.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hi Steve! Boy, I love those music videos you've been posting!!! let me make an announcement to the world: THIS MAN HAS GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC!!!! Go to his site and dupe the favorite music list on his profile! It'll save you years of wandering in the desert looking for the good stuff!

-Eddie

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hi Jennifer: Thanks for the compliment! I went to your site and was amazed to find out that you're a computer person! I'm going to do a theory post on computers soon. Please tell me what you think of it!

-Eddie

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

To the guys on the site: I know I frequently don't answer your posts. That's because you don't have breasts! I'm hoping you guys won't hold that against me. In the presence of a girl a man will always push another man into the trash can and sit on the lid, that's just guy nature.

I do read read and re-read all the comments and I promise you that no observation goes un-noticed.

-Eddie

Stephen Worth said...

I didn't think it was possible, but Eddie is even MORE lovable on the internet than he is in person. (And in person, he's pretty doggone lovable!) But love isn't everything... Give us some HARD TRUTHS too, Eddie!

Mike Milo said...

Eddie! Eddie Eddie!
How's it going man! Great blog! Lovin' it! Hope all is well!

brockorama said...

Eddie you are the man. You don't remember me but I had the extreme fortune of meeting you at a get-together at John K's place back in the summer of 2001. I tagged along as a friend of Wil's. John was showing an unfinshed copy of the 1st episode of Ripping Friends to the Spumco big shots, and here I was this dorky kid who had the unbelieveable luck of listening to drunken cartoon lovers rant and rave all night about the industry! I'll never forget it! I especially remember how consoling and positive you were when John was lamenting about how he hated how the show was being drawn. You defintley seem like a "glass is half full" type of guy! I'm so glad to see what you're up to now! Your poetry makes me tingle, as do your cartoons.

Anonymous said...

GASP! KAFKAESQUE!

Congrats Alicia!

(Now Eddy can slam a trash can lid on my head and sit on it...)

Anonymous said...

WOW. WOW. You should show that gem to my english/poetry teacher!She would be so jealous! She would hate you for life! You should perform that in a coffee shop. People would cry.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Hi Mike! I'm doing fine! Well,... actually I'm a in a bit of a quandry at the moment.

Alicia wrote a poem that I don't know how to respond to. Alicia and I are both bad poets and as you know, no two people on Earth are more antagonistic than two bad poets. Put them in a room together and there's bound to be a cat fight. Both of us exist to inflict our bad poetry on others, not to be victims of it. Maybe if I don't answer her...

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Brock: Thanks for the comment but I have to say that your self-portrait makes you look twice as old as you are. Take a tip from me: if you draw a picture of yourself you're entitled to make it look any way you want it to. Shave off pounds, years, add muscles...who's to know?

Blake Himsl Hunter said...

that poem is great, finally another blog I can look forward to obseesing over!

Mitchel Kennedy said...

Eddie, that was beautiful. If I was a 13-year-old little girl, I'd hang that poem in my locker beside my photo of Johnny Depp.

But that's not who I am, so I'm just going to go pick my nose and wait for your next post.

Keep it up, you're my favorite! =]

Marlo said...

har har har harharhararaaa ha ha ha ha haa haaa!!!!!!

the poem! the comments.. so much entertainment for ol' marlostein




hey eddie. sorry you hate my caricatures of you. I'll draw you less (or more) homosexual next time.

Anonymous said...

Hi Eddie F.

It's me Jesse. Was the cartoon "Wackiki Wabbit" by Chuck Jones really the cartoon that made you want to get in cartooning? I also know that you give Clampett's "Falling Hare" an A then an A+ but my all time favorite scene in that is when Bugs tries to hit the block buster bomb with a mallet and then he stops him self and yells "WHAT AM I DOING!!!???". That to me was Mel Blanc at his BEST!

Jesse Oliver

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Marlo: Good Grief! I don't hate your caricatures of me! I was just lobbying for a more accurate depiction; something much younger, thinner, muscular and more,...more...OK, MORE OF A LIE! There, I said it! Oh, and big eyelashes make me look gay! I need the rugged, manly look.

So there you have it. All I'm asking for is the truth!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jesse: "Wackiki Rabbit" IS one of the cartoons that got me into the industry. I just loved those hand dances. Other motivators included the Goofy sports cartoons. Of course after I actually came to LA and got my first job I saw Clampett cartoons and that set me on a whole new path.

I'm glad you like that Bugs animation in "Falling Hare." I didn't mean to disparage it.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Brandon: Gee, I'm embarrassed to say that I don't remember too much about that show. try asking John about it.

-Eddie

Anonymous said...

Dear Uncle Eddie,
As to your call, I trust you. Go merrily forward.

One of your many Nephews
Vincent

Marlo said...

Whelpy Wishington, U Singal? can i have your digs?

Anonymous said...

Eddie F.

I use to like the Goofy sports cartoons when I was a kid. But it was Ren & Stimpy that made me want to become a cartoonist when I was a kid. Of course I saw the old Looney Tune cartoons as a kid before I ever saw Ren & Stimpy but by the time I discoverd the Cartoon Network which was around 1995 I really looked at the beauty and the humor of the classic cartoons of Tex Avery, Bob Clampett and Chuck Jones. Heres another question for ya. What is your opinion on the Tom & Jerry cartoons directed by Chuck Jones?

your pal,

Jesse Oliver

David Germain said...

hey eddie. sorry you hate my caricatures of you. I'll draw you less (or more) homosexual next time.

Eddie printed out mine. :)

Anonymous said...

A Poem, Ahem:

Oh dear sweet Uncle Eddie, you are such a witty fella';
And as Fitzgeralds go I dig you even more than Ella!
Your "March Hare" family photo indicates that you're quite mad;
A Jerry Colonna look-alike, with rabbit ears - EGAAAD!

I come here seeking meaning to my life so drab and dreary,
And hope that you'll explain it with an Uncle Eddie Theory;
Like why my fourth dimension's always running out of time,
And if the Yellow Submarine was green, wouldn't it be sub-lime?

So sit down in your Theory Chair, and think those thunkful thoughts,
And solve my ponderous ponderings, for that will help me lots;
Oh dear sweet Uncle Eddie, your Theory blog is cool,
(Although, to me a "blog" sounds like a tight impacted stool...)

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Pete: Holy Cow! You're better at this poetry thing than I am! BTW, nice caricature of the Rat Pack on your blog.

-Eddie

Jenny Lerew said...

Just so all your visitors know--the photograph accompanying this ode is none other than Ernie Kovacs in his persona as effette poet Percy Dovetonsils. "Percy" would perform ludicrously awful short poems while drinking a large martini, accompanied by harp thrummings.
One of his typical ones was
"Ode to an emotional Italian knight who wore this suit of armor while engaged to one of Botticelli's models":

"Even though you may have grown to love it
There must have been times
when you were aware
of the inconvienience
of it".

Jenny Lerew said...

Heh--put that in the wrong posting section originally--fixed it!

Jenny Lerew said...

Hey! I just remembered the true title of the Percy poem I quoted--it's even better! Here it is(from memory):
"Ode to an Emotional Italian knight who once Wore the suit of Medieval armor now on Display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art While Engaged to one of Bottecelli's Models".

Whew. Isn't that better?! : )
I love my Percy. Supposedly at some Hollywood Blvd museum they have his goggle glasses and poetry book. I've never gone & check it out, all these years. You oughta go.